re: Vine peach

Tim, I'm not sure if this will save you therapy, but here is a possibility for you to explore from a search for "Vine Peach". Maybe someone will know exactly what you have. The photos of this were very interesting, but really didn't resemble a cantaloupe. Good luck with your harvest!
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Cucumis melo melo chito...Cucumis Melo Var "Chito" (Vine Peach) - Vine Peaches make excellent preserves and pies, and have a vine-ripe flavor and texture much like a mango. It's an easy plant to grow, with fruit maturing on spreading vines in about 80 days.
Plant after danger of frost in hills 4 to 6 feet apart. Plant seed not over 1/2 inch deep 4 to 6 to the hill, pressing soil firmly over them. When plants are well established thin to 3 to each hill. Seed can also be started indoors for an earlier harvest.

Vine Peach: Mango Melon or Vine Peach
The 3" fruit are the size of a peach, with a yellow rind and bland white flesh. This variety was very popular in Victorian times for making sweet pickles, pies and preserves. They were developed in China and introduced into America in the 1880's. In the Orient this type of melon is pickled.